Broken Children.

Relationships are hard. Commitment is stretching it. Taking it to a higher plane. Today the idea of marriage has been running constant in my mind. Not that I always think of love or happily ever after. As a matter of fact it amazes me how infrequently I think about this considering I am thought to be at 'the ripe age' of moving towards that direction. 

 

I have always thought of marriage as an institution. It simplifies relationships and it makes running errands easier. That's about it. But love is a complicated thing. Anything pertaining to the human emotion is indeed complicated and rarely simple. 

Hence I never really understood why people decide to get married. Emotions are fleeting most of the time and people stay together because it's convenient. When children come into the picture, it complicate matters even more. 

The heart is a terribly unstable entity. It wants what it wants,when it wants. That is where affairs come into the picture. The thing about affairs though, the person who suffers the most when someone in the relationship decides to have an affair is the children. 

Of course the spouse who has been cheated on would also be profoundly hurt but my heart goes out to the children. Affairs scars a child permanently. I am an idealist subconsciously. Although I would never admit this to anyone. 

When it comes to children who grow up in  broken families,my heart breaks for them. This is for various reasons. One of the saddest things  for me is that the child would lose his innocence. They would be forced to grow up way to fast. Their worldview would have a dramatic shift. Most of the time for the worse. 

This has pervasive significance in the macro level. These children would grow up to be individuals who are scared and damaged. They would make up the world in the future. It saddens me to the core to picture how our society would be like if more and more children grow up in broken families. 

Of course then there is the argument that the world is full of adversities but it is also full of possibilities to overcoming it. However overcoming it takes truckloads of introspection and a strong network of social support. How many of these children would have that kind of support and encouragement in the first place? 

The family is suppose to be the primary unit of support for a child. If that unit is already dysfunctional. Where or to whom should the child go to?

A New Year, well not really.

 Being done with school (for good) and unemployment gives one a lot of time to do nothing. I know I have abandoned this blog for too long. I can't even come up with a good excuse on why I have not been blogging.  But i suspect it is mostly due to me being uninspired by anything for the longest time.

Being in school has a way to keep you preoccupied without your consent. Assignments, research, term papers and classes work in ways that sucks your energy. I cannot deny that I was victim to such a routine and energy consuming cycle. Before I had time to stop and breathe without thinking of what i need to do next, I'm already done with school. I guess that is how life catches up on you.

You do what needs to be done and before you know it, you are already done. However there is a twist to this. You do what you need to do because they tell you that is what people do. So you do it. You keep at it and then when you're done, all you feel is empty. Like the doing is just a way to pass time.

The danger i think is that we study/work and allow the years to pass us by. We keep thinking that we have time to do what we really want in life. To pursue our dreams and passions but we perpetually put it off because we think we should be doing something conventional. Something that provides security and stability. The tragedy is that we let life get in the way and then if we are lucky, someone or something triggers us to stop and reflect on our lives. Moving us to take action and take steps towards the direction that we were always meant to go. But not all of us are lucky to have such a trigger. I hope this year we do not get caught up with triviality (like every other year)  and get to the stuff that absolutely matters to us. Because really we only live once and age is catching up on us too fast.

Caution: Fragile

There are some moments in life that will define you, change your perspectives and sometimes even the whole foundation of your seemingly invincible world. Age has an effect on you like that. When we are young, we seem and always feel like we are unbreakable, strong and solid.  Once in a while something happens, an incident that will change that view and that feeling forever.

For me that defining moment, the conception of age does not imply that we are invincible and strong came in the form of an accident. A motorbike accident. Recently a close friend of mine got into a bike accident. He is still in the hospital today. His condition fluctuates every now and then. It is really a trying time. My friends and I are all trying to stay optimistic for his sake but also we are trying to hold it together for one another.

For a very long time now, the most important friendships in my life have been marked with immense gratitude on my side. Filled mostly with  laughter, good times and fulfilling experiences. This incident or should i say accident is the first phenomenon in my opinion that would test the depth of the friendship I have in this circle. Judging from the way things are going, without a doubt I can say for sure that I have a pretty solid group of friends.

The greatest lesson that I am able to draw from my friend's accident is about the fragility of the human condition. That at the end of the day, we are not as strong, as solid or as unbreakable as we think we are. That being young does not mean that we can and should flirt with life. As with the condition of my friend, only time will tell if  he will be able to fully recover. Hoping for the best but I take comfort in the fact that he is not alone in his struggle.

Just being

I have been thinking a lot about authenticity lately. It's amazing how people try extremely hard to be a different. To be individualistic. But in the end we just end up going with what is popular. Or rather what is every often phrased as " customary or formality". The way I see it. To hell with formality or being mannered. I really do not give a damn about being nice or decent to people who I have no interest in trying to please. Why put in effort to be extra nice to people who you have no respect for whatsoever. I mean isn't the whole point of life is to live authentically. I think for that to happen. We need to be true to ourselves foremost. That is the essential point to begin with. Your thoughts and opinion must be manifested by your actions. From the very little years of experience I have about life and my limited wisdom, all I can say now is that I just want to focus on being.

To be perfectly realistic and pragmatic, you can't function if you live for others. Of course people are entitled to their opinions and the way they feel. But beyond this ,I think it is equally important not to fake it. I know this might seem shallow and people may argue that as you grow older, you need to look at the bigger pictures. Sometimes people have to do what they do not want to do so that they " give face" or some shit like that. But if some people just simply do not matter to you. Why try? I think we all should just focus on the people that matter to us and screw the rest man. period.

national day.

Today Singapore celebrates her national day. In other words the people are paying tribute and maybe even appreciating the ability of nation states to self govern. Something that would not have been possible without gaining independence.

As I reflect upon the meaning and significance of independence day or national day. My thoughts keep going to my home. Malaysia has been a self-governing nation for more that half a century now. While good things have come out from our ability to steer and direct our own nation, we are also forced to look upon the decisions and direction that we have made. The consequences of our action and what it means to us and the future generation.

Gaining national independence and sovereignty is no small feat and I can appreciate the fact that it's something  worth remembering. However having the opportunity to celebrate national day also implies that there is a responsibility that goes along with it. A heavy responsibility actually. This is because we can no longer blame others for the circumstances and domestic problems that we face as an independent nation. We become solely responsible for every success and failure we face as a nation. So as we remember the joy and liberty that comes with having the opportunity to self-govern, let us not forget that with independence comes responsibility and also consequences. That self-government do come with a heavy price and we need to treasure it and more importantly make national independence something that is worth celebrating and appreciating for the future generations.

Happy Birthday Singapore.

p.e.o.p.l.e

I used to believe strongly that some people are meant to be in your life forever. Regardless of what happens between them and more importantly, what the circumstances are. However I have been back home for 2 weeks now and I realized that the most significant friendships and social relationship requires a minimum amount of effort. All kinds of social relationships require effort. The problems comes when you need to decide on which relationships that you want to foster and nurture. You can't have it all not when you have limited time. The tension between the time you have and the relationships that you want to maintain and foster are quite tricky. Hence careful consideration is needed, and deciding on who should stay in your life and which relationships to sacrifice will always be one of the most difficult decision that anyone can make. But I think I am blessed because I always knew who mattered to me and who I wanted to in life forever. So here is to good friends and relationships. Oh how i love people.

Bloody Murder

I was watching the news yesterday. One of the highlights reported in Channel News Asia I found very disturbing. It is regarding police brutality in Pakistan that resulted in a public outcry for justice. So the story goes that an UNARMED teenager was shot my paramilitary forces. In a statement given by the Pakistani authority however is that the teenager was armed. Upon further investigation the teenager was actually unarmed. The teenager was accused of robbery.

I was shocked and not surprisingly extremely upset about this incident. I think that whatever the crime the teenager was accused of , he at least deserved to be treated with dignity and in accordance to the law. He should have been tried in a court of law and punished accordingly. Whatever happen to social justice and the rule of law. The only responsibility that the police has is to protect the security of civilians and NOT punish and murder people accused of crimes. That is up to the legislature and should be done after proper and thorough investigation. Human life is not something anyone can take away with such careless abandon.

I hope that the Pakistani authorities would take harsh measures to prevent this from happening in the future. I do not want to think about another case happening nor do I want to imagine the state that our society has degraded into. The power and authority that the police has over civilians should be exercised with greater responsibility and  care. It is not meant to exhibit barbarity in which the paramilitary troops in Pakistan did to the teenager who might actually be innocent of the crimes that he has been accused of.