Change

They say that the only constant in life is change. Everything is bound to change. I guess we all know that but somehow we hope that by trying to avoid thinking about it or acknowledging it , the painful change that is slowly creeping into our lives will go away. Perhaps change can be mitigated once we stop thinking about it.

Similar to the idea of mind over matter?  You think that your circumstances have not change and that it's all in your mind. You hope and wish that maybe you are over-thinking it and that in reality and actuality things have not change to the point that it has become alien to you. At least that is what you hope it is.

But sooner or later  like an incoming hurricane ,it hits you and all that you're left with is questions. Questions of why, what and most significantly how in the world did you allow such unrecognizable  changes to happen to your life. A life in which you are supposed to be the master of your destiny. The captain of your world. The life in which you are given the wheel to steer. Any direction.Without limitation or restriction.

The outcome you get? is the realization that you are only human and it is difficult and sometimes even heart breaking because you can't steer life without changing it. And that sometimes conscious effort is needed to make changes for the best, for the future, for yourself and for the best of others, the people you care about the most. Knowing, with every single. inevitable change. the  package of consequences which comes along is going to be filled with questions of 'what ifs' and the constant nagging at the back of your mind .Of things you should have done and things that you shouldn't have done. Just to make the changes that occurred  bearable and also maybe to make sense of the dissonance that is heavily weighing on your psyche.

But I figured that's just the human condition. Perhaps change is needed for us to know what matters to us the most. Maybe it takes change to know who are the people that matter to you the most and maybe just maybe, If we are lucky enough we would be given a second chance to go back and relive those memories in which we were the most happiest. The most content. A chance to live again. To breath again and to experience the reckless abandon as a child would in the meadows. The things  that we felt when we were kids before the recognition that we would not stay kids forever. Before we got to know that life is not always about pink cotton candies, funfair , carousel rides, rainbows and hop scotchs.